Hey guys, this post is going to be a bit of a rant but by now I'm more than confident to not apologise for that because I know that you guys allow me to rant or vent or post about whatever the heck that I want to now and I really appreciate that. Once again in almost a follow up to my most recent post on Wednesday it's another rant about my work and how I don't know, depressed that I've been feeling since it's been close to being finalised that we're leaving. I have a lot that I'd like to say about my place of work but if I said it to my bosses' face then he'd make sure that I never worked anywhere ever again so I'm going to rant on here instead.
I know that I'm being petty and perhaps just bitter but being let go due to a "lack of finances," is just an excuse that doesn't wash with me even though I can do nothing about it. I understand that the rugby shop I work in is a small business and as a small business it's never going to be a steady place of employment in the first place but it just isn't fair to completely rely on a government scheme that gives out employees "for free," as my boss put it. Schemes like this have been implemented in the first place to give people some experience, to give them a chance at working a job and gaining experience and possibly if they impress the employer enough being kept on;. Employment schemes are not in place so that employers are able to employ people year after year, all year round without paying them because they can't afford to pay for their staff. When you think about it, if your business isn't doing well enough to even pay its staff then maybe you shouldn't even have a business in the first place.
Like I say though, this excuse about finances just doesn't wash with me. Yesterday my boss left for a two week holiday with his family which is the second two week holiday he's taken over the space of six months. Yeah, in six months my poor boss who doesn't have the finances to pay two people minimum wages for another couple of months has went on TWO holidays and very expensive holidays by the sound of it. I know that he's entitled to time off and to do whatever he likes with his money but it's the fact that he gives the people who run these employment schemes excuse time after time again that he has no money to hire his employees and that's a blatant lie.
I also think that the way the boss handled the situation lacked decency, not in my part but in the letting go of the other guy that I work with, James. I've blogged about this guy before, a very decent young guy around my age who I honestly couldn't fault. He's worked hard this entire time, he's been nothing but nice and yet just like me he's not getting a chance. The thing that annoys me about James' side to the situation is, like I've said before he's a father who has a young daughter and this job that he works is one of the things that he relies on to look after his daughter and his girlfriend. I previously blogged a few months back when I began to realise that I wouldn't be staying on that if it came down to my boss keeping just one of us on I would gladly stand aside for James if it meant him staying in employment. This guy is working his arse off to support his family and that lends him no compassion, he's just chucked off this wage that he's on and back into unemployment benefits because the government aren't willing to subsidise his wages after this contract runs out and my boss is too cheap an asshole to even consider hiring him part time.
I'm sorry that I sound so angry here but honestly I am. You all might believe me or not but I have worked so hard every single day that I've been working here. I've tried to get as many sales as possible, I've never once fell out with anybody, I'm always willing to help out customers, I've not once been late in six months of employment (all this applies to James as well), yet it doesn't matter because my boss is greedy. Listening to him brag to my supervisor about how amazing it was that he was getting more people in for "free," oblivious to James' young family or my feelings at overhearing this made me sick. There's a level of sensitivity and grace that you can have but my boss has lacked that from day one when he told me that I was dressed "like a special needs kid," so I guess there's no surprise that he lacks sensitivity and grace to this very day.
His manners leave a lot to be desired, he's referred to James a few times as "whatever the fuck his name is," despite only employing three people, he's got into arguments with customers although not as many as my supervisor to be fair and on Monday he walked past James and I when we were checking stock, spoke to my supervisor and then walked back out again straight past us only saying goodbye to our supervisor despite the fact that we weren't going to see him much before he left on his holiday. Basically he's made it obvious that he just doesn't care about anybody else but himself. Even though I regularly whine about my supervisor, he gets a terrible wage for doing horrendous hours and has to run the shop by himself quite often since my boss is fortunate enough to go off on holidays all the time.
I know that I should be grateful to my boss, he was the guy who gave me my first break in employment after all but at the same time it's never been him that's paid my wages, it's been the people who run this scheme, I've just been another spoke on the wheel, another person willing to enable his greed and not complain because no matter who pays me at least I get paid and I feel guilty for that. Honestly I want to make sure everybody who runs this scheme knows how greedy he is, how he has his employees working in near Arctic freezing cold conditions during Winter months because he's too tight to pay for central heating or how he churns people out and uses them or how little an effort he puts in but I probably won't and I feel really guilty about that, I just can't risk burning any bridges in the future.
I had better stop here because I understand that this post must be turning into a real effort to read. I don't even know how I'm feeling right now, at the time of writing. Maybe it's because I'm losing my job in a few weeks time I'm becoming bitter and lashing out or maybe I'm right to have my complaints. All I know is that I'm staring down the barrel of the gun that is unemployment again and it's depressing, I just wish that I had enough in me to do something to tear myself out of this but what does wishing do? Wishing isn't going to pull myself out of this mess, only I can do that. Stay safe people.
Matthew
Friday, 17 May 2013
Wednesday, 15 May 2013
May 15th 2013- Unemployment Fears, Time and Stress
As I'm sure you guys can tell this post is a post concerning my much referenced to unemployment fears, something I've been saying that I've been going to make a post on for a good while now. I'm not really sure why I've kept putting off writing about it, the main reason is probably because something else more imminent to write up on has been constantly taking precedence but to be honest with you I probably haven't wanted to talk about it too much because for me it's a very depressing situation that's difficult to talk to.
At the time of writing I really don't have much time at all to get a new job which as you can understand is causing a lot of stress. My contract with the rugby shop that I currently work at ends on the 31st of May and my boss has made it oh so cruelly clear that the minute our contracts run out we have to leave, unfair yet I'm not surprised. It's funny that my boss has no money to afford to keep on staff who aren't on free work placement schemes when he's constantly going off on holidays and talking about how he's going out for big expensive meals but it is what it is. I'm probably a little bitter to be honest because I'm being let go but the other guy I work with as I've said before is a young father and for him not to be kept on either just to save a little more money is just wrong. One of the marking's off a good business is to build up a good stable base of loyal employees and my current boss has never done that so when the business eventually fails and trust me, it seems like one day it will, he's going to have absolutely nobody to blame but himself.
Anyway with that said I currently have just slightly over two weeks to find a new job or I'm back on unemployment benefits which is a very scary thought for me. The last time I was on benefits, I was on it for a nearly ten month stretch and I honestly absolutely despised myself and the lifestyle I lived at that time. Honestly I felt like I was a scrounger, a non-contributing waste to society, just somebody who didn't give anything back and I even felt judged on that by my friends as well. There also was way too much free time when I was on benefits, which sounds quite hypocritical after me recently complaining about how I didn't have enough free time to blog as often as I would like to but there's a difference between wanting a little more free time and between having too much of it and when you have nothing to do day in day out all week long trust me, it really can play on your mind.
I have been doing a good bit to avoid having to sign back on again, applying for multiple jobs doing all sorts of things but nothing seems to be working and it's causing me to stress out a lot. Even the prospect of having to start a new job is stressful to me in itself because I always hate change and new things when they're of this kind of magnitude especially considering just exactly how badly my first job went. I mean I made good friends with the guy on the same scheme with me but obviously my relationship with my supervisor was fractured and my boss has been a bit of a dick. While I have enjoyed my time working in this rugby shop to a certain extent it's been rocky at other times and to be honest with you hasn't exactly been the best way to start off my working life. Despite that at least right now I'm actually in proper paid employment and I can't underestimate just how amazing that is, I can't let it go just yet, I've got to find a job.
The telecommunications employment market is one that is seriously booming right now and gives me the best chance of getting a job, I've applied for this company who employs a lot of people in that kind of thing and they've arranged a phone interview with me which is something that's scaring me a lot. It's just a terrifying thought that so much can hinge on one phone call and I'm absolutely dreading it. I also understand that because the job involves answering phones and calling people, if you don't speak clearly then you have no hope of employment. Plus I know a friend who had the same interview via phone and failed horrendously which really doesn't help with the pressure, it's easy to see why I've been stressing so much over this isn't it?
One other option that always remains an option is studying Law or something else at either a physical university or via Open University although like I've said before I still think that I'm going to give it a miss at least this year. I'm most likely too late to pursue anything at a physical university until next year and Open University is still something that I haven't made me mind up on yet plus there's no stability or certainty about life right now and that's something I need to build before I consider schooling myself. Recently I told some of my friends over coffee how the opportunity to go onto study Law is still there if I just knuckle down and sort myself out and they were all really encouraging and insistent that I was wasting my potential by continuing to work minimum wage jobs like I'm doing. I do agree with them to an extent, my A Level grades (AAB) are extremely impressive and in 20 or so years time if I don't do something with them then I may just be kicking myself.
I guess that's one of the big fears in life that so many people have though isn't it? Waking up in the future to find yourself feeling like you've done nowhere near enough and that you've wasted your time. I mean I say that I'm not going to do certain things now because I still haven't made my mind up about my life but what am I going to do if I still haven't made my mind up years down the line and I'm still in the same position, it's a scary thought isn't it? I'd better go here, sorry if this depressed anybody haha.
Matthew
At the time of writing I really don't have much time at all to get a new job which as you can understand is causing a lot of stress. My contract with the rugby shop that I currently work at ends on the 31st of May and my boss has made it oh so cruelly clear that the minute our contracts run out we have to leave, unfair yet I'm not surprised. It's funny that my boss has no money to afford to keep on staff who aren't on free work placement schemes when he's constantly going off on holidays and talking about how he's going out for big expensive meals but it is what it is. I'm probably a little bitter to be honest because I'm being let go but the other guy I work with as I've said before is a young father and for him not to be kept on either just to save a little more money is just wrong. One of the marking's off a good business is to build up a good stable base of loyal employees and my current boss has never done that so when the business eventually fails and trust me, it seems like one day it will, he's going to have absolutely nobody to blame but himself.
Anyway with that said I currently have just slightly over two weeks to find a new job or I'm back on unemployment benefits which is a very scary thought for me. The last time I was on benefits, I was on it for a nearly ten month stretch and I honestly absolutely despised myself and the lifestyle I lived at that time. Honestly I felt like I was a scrounger, a non-contributing waste to society, just somebody who didn't give anything back and I even felt judged on that by my friends as well. There also was way too much free time when I was on benefits, which sounds quite hypocritical after me recently complaining about how I didn't have enough free time to blog as often as I would like to but there's a difference between wanting a little more free time and between having too much of it and when you have nothing to do day in day out all week long trust me, it really can play on your mind.
I have been doing a good bit to avoid having to sign back on again, applying for multiple jobs doing all sorts of things but nothing seems to be working and it's causing me to stress out a lot. Even the prospect of having to start a new job is stressful to me in itself because I always hate change and new things when they're of this kind of magnitude especially considering just exactly how badly my first job went. I mean I made good friends with the guy on the same scheme with me but obviously my relationship with my supervisor was fractured and my boss has been a bit of a dick. While I have enjoyed my time working in this rugby shop to a certain extent it's been rocky at other times and to be honest with you hasn't exactly been the best way to start off my working life. Despite that at least right now I'm actually in proper paid employment and I can't underestimate just how amazing that is, I can't let it go just yet, I've got to find a job.
The telecommunications employment market is one that is seriously booming right now and gives me the best chance of getting a job, I've applied for this company who employs a lot of people in that kind of thing and they've arranged a phone interview with me which is something that's scaring me a lot. It's just a terrifying thought that so much can hinge on one phone call and I'm absolutely dreading it. I also understand that because the job involves answering phones and calling people, if you don't speak clearly then you have no hope of employment. Plus I know a friend who had the same interview via phone and failed horrendously which really doesn't help with the pressure, it's easy to see why I've been stressing so much over this isn't it?
One other option that always remains an option is studying Law or something else at either a physical university or via Open University although like I've said before I still think that I'm going to give it a miss at least this year. I'm most likely too late to pursue anything at a physical university until next year and Open University is still something that I haven't made me mind up on yet plus there's no stability or certainty about life right now and that's something I need to build before I consider schooling myself. Recently I told some of my friends over coffee how the opportunity to go onto study Law is still there if I just knuckle down and sort myself out and they were all really encouraging and insistent that I was wasting my potential by continuing to work minimum wage jobs like I'm doing. I do agree with them to an extent, my A Level grades (AAB) are extremely impressive and in 20 or so years time if I don't do something with them then I may just be kicking myself.
I guess that's one of the big fears in life that so many people have though isn't it? Waking up in the future to find yourself feeling like you've done nowhere near enough and that you've wasted your time. I mean I say that I'm not going to do certain things now because I still haven't made my mind up about my life but what am I going to do if I still haven't made my mind up years down the line and I'm still in the same position, it's a scary thought isn't it? I'd better go here, sorry if this depressed anybody haha.
Matthew
Monday, 13 May 2013
13th May 2013- Mistake, Milestone and 400 Posts!
Hey guys. Some of my readers may remember a post I made back in April where I lamented the fact that I had missed my opportunity to celebrate making 400 posts on my blog and if you don't then here's a link. Well it turns out that post was a bit of a false alarm because unfortunately I'm a bit of an idiot. What I didn't realise was that on my dashboard the "posts made," section actually doesn't just count published posts, it also counts scheduled posts and non-published drafts. Over the years I'd made a hash of a few posts and left them in the drafts section without realising it and it amounted to over ten extra posts!
The point I'm trying to make is that until now I hadn't actually actually made my 400th post and that this is it. Like I said in the prior post it's not that important a number and 500 is far bigger number to achieve but at the same time I'm pretty pleased about it. It's crazy because it seems just like yesterday I was creating this blog and here I am 400 posts later still enjoying doing it.
I guess that it isn't deniable that my passion for writing at times has fluctuated but to be honest it's just been reflective of how I've been going through my life recently. At times such as when I was on unemployment benefits I had what seemed like an endless amount of free time and was able to write almost every day whereas other times such as now I've been very busy and able to write less which is to be honest just how it works in life. If I got a job offering even more hours then I'd be writing even less and while that's disappointing like I say it's just how it works. It's crazy that despite how I've been writing less my views have actually been increasing and I'm just 5000 views off having 50,000 total blog views which while I understand isn't a big amount to some people, it's a pretty big amount to me.
Despite how much I seem to be sucking up to my blog today Blogger has surprised me because what's most important to me nowadays isn't the amount of posts or even the quality of what I write, what's most important is actually that I'm able to comment under the posts of all my friends every single day which admittedly probably sounds a little creepy but you guys get what I mean right? Like if I had a choice never to write on here again or never to read all your posts ever again I'd pick never writing again and that's a testimony of just how much I enjoy being on here and reading your awesome blogs.
I guess what I'm trying to say in this post is that I came here to Blogger at the age of 18 expecting Blogger fame and fortune (I know that isn't a real thing but bare with me) but now at the age of 20 I'm here and I'm staying here because of you who aren't only my awesome readers but most importantly my amazing and wonderful friends so yeah this 400th post is dedicated to you guys, thank you so much for everything!
Matthew
The point I'm trying to make is that until now I hadn't actually actually made my 400th post and that this is it. Like I said in the prior post it's not that important a number and 500 is far bigger number to achieve but at the same time I'm pretty pleased about it. It's crazy because it seems just like yesterday I was creating this blog and here I am 400 posts later still enjoying doing it.
I guess that it isn't deniable that my passion for writing at times has fluctuated but to be honest it's just been reflective of how I've been going through my life recently. At times such as when I was on unemployment benefits I had what seemed like an endless amount of free time and was able to write almost every day whereas other times such as now I've been very busy and able to write less which is to be honest just how it works in life. If I got a job offering even more hours then I'd be writing even less and while that's disappointing like I say it's just how it works. It's crazy that despite how I've been writing less my views have actually been increasing and I'm just 5000 views off having 50,000 total blog views which while I understand isn't a big amount to some people, it's a pretty big amount to me.
Despite how much I seem to be sucking up to my blog today Blogger has surprised me because what's most important to me nowadays isn't the amount of posts or even the quality of what I write, what's most important is actually that I'm able to comment under the posts of all my friends every single day which admittedly probably sounds a little creepy but you guys get what I mean right? Like if I had a choice never to write on here again or never to read all your posts ever again I'd pick never writing again and that's a testimony of just how much I enjoy being on here and reading your awesome blogs.
I guess what I'm trying to say in this post is that I came here to Blogger at the age of 18 expecting Blogger fame and fortune (I know that isn't a real thing but bare with me) but now at the age of 20 I'm here and I'm staying here because of you who aren't only my awesome readers but most importantly my amazing and wonderful friends so yeah this 400th post is dedicated to you guys, thank you so much for everything!
Matthew
Friday, 10 May 2013
10th May 2013- Brother, Relief and Feeling Aimless
Hey guys how's it going? Thank you very much for the positive input in my last post concerning a Blogger friend of mine that is way more important than this post and you should check out instead if you haven't already. We all know what it's like to go through a hard time in life and to have the odds up against us so to see so many people sympathising with Teri's plight and saying that they'd help out if they could meant a lot to me and I'm sure it meant a lot to Teri as well. Sometimes things are more important than Blogger but at times like this I do find it interesting a reminder is that we all do carry on with our lives. We interact on here but that interaction doesn't end, there's still lives going on in the background and sometimes like what is normal these lives can take a sudden turn and things can do badly. It's important to focus on the important things though, that we're not just fellow bloggers or fans but we're friends and friendship is very important and even (man Mark will love this), magic.
Life's been bad for me recently. Honestly I just mentally don't know where I'm going with my life and that's for various reasons although I think that I'll save it until Monday to talk about the main reason further. I just don't know guys, I feel so aimless, aimless is the best word to describe it. Only thinking about things I could have in the future gives me pleasure. I mean I'm sitting writing this on my day off and I just feel low, I don't even feel low in fact, I don't feel sad, but I feel empty or something like I'm not really there or whatever. I've been taking citalopram for what is getting close to two years now and maybe it's time I quit the antidepressants. Life can't get any worse surely right? I've learned to cope with things and that's good. The more I think about it though, my mood fluctuates so much, I can go from being really depressed to really happy in nanoseconds, then of course there's this empty mood too, some days nothing will excite or please me then other days everything will, it's difficult.
One thing that has been pleasing me recently is the great news that my brother has finally got a girlfriend, and one that actually lives near him! Recently I had posted about this girl he was "in love" with from Wales who planned on meeting up with him and trying for a baby despite them only dating for two months and obviously I was disgusted and angry about this. Well as quickly as it started it ended and he told me literally on the same day that he had been set up with a girl who was his friend's sister's boyfriend. Since then they've hung out twice and got on great which as you can all understand has given me a whole lot of relief haha. The thought of him having a baby with a Welsh girl especially since he admitted he would gladly move over to Wales to be with her was a scary one as much as it was ridiculous.
At the same time I feel something that could only be described as jealousy at the situation. I am happy for him honestly, he has waited so long to get a girlfriend over here and it's exciting for him, I mean at the age of 23 he's still a virgin and a consistently single one at that and he deserves some happiness despite his faults but I just feel down sometimes in behind the relief. I'm not happy and everybody else seems to spring up and being happy. That doesn't even bother me too much, it's not the main thing that bothers me, what bothers me is how little I yearn for anything. I don't yearn for somebody, all I do is focus on myself and that's scary and depressing. I've became so jaded that I don't want anything but happiness yet despite this I don't know what's actually able to make me happy if that makes sense. Right now I guess behind the depression I just need excitement and I'm not getting it and it's frustrating.
Agh I hope this post makes sense, I realise how I do kind of jitter between being jealous of people to saying that I don't want what they have but I guess at the core that's it. Nothing is making me happy apart from furthering myself, whether it's a good pump after a workout or a good sale in work, nothing seems to actually be having any proper effect on me which is annoying me endlessly. I feel a little like a mime which admittedly is a weird analogy. I'm pretending to have a glass box surrounding me but there isn't one there yet all the same I'm trapped and can't get out. It's definitely not interesting because I can guarantee that nobody is entertained but then again who finds mimes entertaining anyway?
Oh wow you can just tell that this is turning into one big ramble when I began to start talking about mimes. I guess the core point of this post is that I'm happy for my brother. He's waited a long time and he's had poor health recently and despite everything he deserves some happiness so I really hope that this relationship lasts. On the flip side seeing everybody else becoming happy bothers me because I'm not happy and don't even know what it's going to take although I guess you never really truly know. I'm going to go and play my X-Box here. Those of you who keenly (perhaps too keenly?) follow my Twitter which you should all follow @heathyheath_ will know that I recently bought a games console which has been a bright point in my life recently. I don't want to blog about it too much though because I know that my reader's interest in gaming is next to none, which to be fair isn't much less than mine is, it's just a good time passer. Man sometimes I wonder who I'm trying to convince, you guys or myself. I love you all.
Matthew
Life's been bad for me recently. Honestly I just mentally don't know where I'm going with my life and that's for various reasons although I think that I'll save it until Monday to talk about the main reason further. I just don't know guys, I feel so aimless, aimless is the best word to describe it. Only thinking about things I could have in the future gives me pleasure. I mean I'm sitting writing this on my day off and I just feel low, I don't even feel low in fact, I don't feel sad, but I feel empty or something like I'm not really there or whatever. I've been taking citalopram for what is getting close to two years now and maybe it's time I quit the antidepressants. Life can't get any worse surely right? I've learned to cope with things and that's good. The more I think about it though, my mood fluctuates so much, I can go from being really depressed to really happy in nanoseconds, then of course there's this empty mood too, some days nothing will excite or please me then other days everything will, it's difficult.
One thing that has been pleasing me recently is the great news that my brother has finally got a girlfriend, and one that actually lives near him! Recently I had posted about this girl he was "in love" with from Wales who planned on meeting up with him and trying for a baby despite them only dating for two months and obviously I was disgusted and angry about this. Well as quickly as it started it ended and he told me literally on the same day that he had been set up with a girl who was his friend's sister's boyfriend. Since then they've hung out twice and got on great which as you can all understand has given me a whole lot of relief haha. The thought of him having a baby with a Welsh girl especially since he admitted he would gladly move over to Wales to be with her was a scary one as much as it was ridiculous.
At the same time I feel something that could only be described as jealousy at the situation. I am happy for him honestly, he has waited so long to get a girlfriend over here and it's exciting for him, I mean at the age of 23 he's still a virgin and a consistently single one at that and he deserves some happiness despite his faults but I just feel down sometimes in behind the relief. I'm not happy and everybody else seems to spring up and being happy. That doesn't even bother me too much, it's not the main thing that bothers me, what bothers me is how little I yearn for anything. I don't yearn for somebody, all I do is focus on myself and that's scary and depressing. I've became so jaded that I don't want anything but happiness yet despite this I don't know what's actually able to make me happy if that makes sense. Right now I guess behind the depression I just need excitement and I'm not getting it and it's frustrating.
Agh I hope this post makes sense, I realise how I do kind of jitter between being jealous of people to saying that I don't want what they have but I guess at the core that's it. Nothing is making me happy apart from furthering myself, whether it's a good pump after a workout or a good sale in work, nothing seems to actually be having any proper effect on me which is annoying me endlessly. I feel a little like a mime which admittedly is a weird analogy. I'm pretending to have a glass box surrounding me but there isn't one there yet all the same I'm trapped and can't get out. It's definitely not interesting because I can guarantee that nobody is entertained but then again who finds mimes entertaining anyway?
Oh wow you can just tell that this is turning into one big ramble when I began to start talking about mimes. I guess the core point of this post is that I'm happy for my brother. He's waited a long time and he's had poor health recently and despite everything he deserves some happiness so I really hope that this relationship lasts. On the flip side seeing everybody else becoming happy bothers me because I'm not happy and don't even know what it's going to take although I guess you never really truly know. I'm going to go and play my X-Box here. Those of you who keenly (perhaps too keenly?) follow my Twitter which you should all follow @heathyheath_ will know that I recently bought a games console which has been a bright point in my life recently. I don't want to blog about it too much though because I know that my reader's interest in gaming is next to none, which to be fair isn't much less than mine is, it's just a good time passer. Man sometimes I wonder who I'm trying to convince, you guys or myself. I love you all.
Matthew
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
8th Wednesday 2013- Friendship, Disaster and Help
Hey guys. I promise that the counter will be back some day soon, I just think I'm going to re-jig it a little and make it into one about smoking but since it's been so long since I last smoked it's the kind of thing I really have to sit down and have a think about when that last was and try to go really the rest of my life smoke free, it's a bad habit that I really should look at stopping.
Honestly though this isn't about me today, because I have something way more important to share with you guys,despite what the title implies it's not really an ask for help, basically a friend of mine is in serious need of help right now and I feel like it's my duty to at least explain the situation and then share the page concerning the situation if that makes sense? If it doesn't hopefully it will in a second haha, honestly I have no idea why I'm so bad with explaining these kinds of things.
I'm not sure how many of you guys follow her blog but The Bipolar Diva has been one of my favourite bloggers for a very long time, we're talking about at least over a year. Diva is warm, she's empathetic, she's friendly and runs a seriously bitching blog. Because I've battled with depression and symptoms of bipolar in my life and taking various medications for these kind of things I've always found it easy to relate with the Diva and that's one of the reason's why I've loved her posts. They've helped in a certain way, just to see somebody overcome all these problems, to overcome a terrible illness like bipolar and just cope with it and go on and live their lives. Despite all these problems she's also a loving wife and a mother of eight children, a few who have been adopted and I don't know why but I just find her so inspirational, just the way she's batted away all the problems she's faced in her life and still managed to be so loving, it's amazing.
But anyway the important thing about this post is that she has had a really tough time recently. This post from Bipolar Diva herself explains the situation way better than I possibly could but basically her husband Jeff was in a terrible motorcycle accident that seen him having to be air lifted and put his life at massive risk and as you guys can understand Diva and her family are obviously going through an extremely stressful time. I have personally felt pain at hearing how bad things have been recently. Diva is a lovely person, Jeff is a lovely man and the family seem amazing and to read about them having to go through this is tough. Hopefully Jeff is going to pull through and recover as quickly as possible but unfortunately no matter how quickly he recovers there obviously is going to be a long and hard road of recovery ahead of him which is subsequently going to put a strain on Diva and her family as well.
As I'm sure you guys can appreciate with this medical care comes lots of bills and things are really difficult for Diva and her family financially right now. With that said Teri (Bipolar Diva), has begrudgingly set up a Give Forward page for Jeff in an attempt to raise some money for his medical bills. Teri obviously understands that it's going to take a lot of money before Jeff gets well again so this page is honestly completely understandable and I think worthy of giving some money too. With that said here's a link to the page with more details on how to donate. Like I say Teri and her family are good, honest, hard working and wonderful people and they deserve support right now so if you could even donate something or if you can't donate or don't want to, just share the page then it would be absolutely amazing and make a difference with the family.
I'm going to leave this post where it is for now because I don't want to go on about this too much. It'd mean the world if you guys would share for Teri and her family. I do understand that it's difficult to put money towards anything right now considering how times are tough, I know myself that I was only able to donate a little bit of money but every little helps right? Okay guys, I'll leave it here, have a nice day everybody.
Matthew
Honestly though this isn't about me today, because I have something way more important to share with you guys,despite what the title implies it's not really an ask for help, basically a friend of mine is in serious need of help right now and I feel like it's my duty to at least explain the situation and then share the page concerning the situation if that makes sense? If it doesn't hopefully it will in a second haha, honestly I have no idea why I'm so bad with explaining these kinds of things.
I'm not sure how many of you guys follow her blog but The Bipolar Diva has been one of my favourite bloggers for a very long time, we're talking about at least over a year. Diva is warm, she's empathetic, she's friendly and runs a seriously bitching blog. Because I've battled with depression and symptoms of bipolar in my life and taking various medications for these kind of things I've always found it easy to relate with the Diva and that's one of the reason's why I've loved her posts. They've helped in a certain way, just to see somebody overcome all these problems, to overcome a terrible illness like bipolar and just cope with it and go on and live their lives. Despite all these problems she's also a loving wife and a mother of eight children, a few who have been adopted and I don't know why but I just find her so inspirational, just the way she's batted away all the problems she's faced in her life and still managed to be so loving, it's amazing.
But anyway the important thing about this post is that she has had a really tough time recently. This post from Bipolar Diva herself explains the situation way better than I possibly could but basically her husband Jeff was in a terrible motorcycle accident that seen him having to be air lifted and put his life at massive risk and as you guys can understand Diva and her family are obviously going through an extremely stressful time. I have personally felt pain at hearing how bad things have been recently. Diva is a lovely person, Jeff is a lovely man and the family seem amazing and to read about them having to go through this is tough. Hopefully Jeff is going to pull through and recover as quickly as possible but unfortunately no matter how quickly he recovers there obviously is going to be a long and hard road of recovery ahead of him which is subsequently going to put a strain on Diva and her family as well.
As I'm sure you guys can appreciate with this medical care comes lots of bills and things are really difficult for Diva and her family financially right now. With that said Teri (Bipolar Diva), has begrudgingly set up a Give Forward page for Jeff in an attempt to raise some money for his medical bills. Teri obviously understands that it's going to take a lot of money before Jeff gets well again so this page is honestly completely understandable and I think worthy of giving some money too. With that said here's a link to the page with more details on how to donate. Like I say Teri and her family are good, honest, hard working and wonderful people and they deserve support right now so if you could even donate something or if you can't donate or don't want to, just share the page then it would be absolutely amazing and make a difference with the family.
I'm going to leave this post where it is for now because I don't want to go on about this too much. It'd mean the world if you guys would share for Teri and her family. I do understand that it's difficult to put money towards anything right now considering how times are tough, I know myself that I was only able to donate a little bit of money but every little helps right? Okay guys, I'll leave it here, have a nice day everybody.
Matthew
Monday, 6 May 2013
6th May 2013- Irish Cup Final, Victory and Awkwardness
Hey guys, this is just going to be a short post from me because honestly at the time of writing my brains are still pretty scrambled. After a pretty awesome streak of not really drinking alcohol for 48 days it all came to an end in a rather celebratory fashion on Saturday night.
As I told you guys before Saturday was the day of the football (soccer) Irish Cup Final and my team Glentoran were lucky enough to take part for the first time since 2006. Obviously being a big Glentoran fan there was no way in heck that I was going to miss it so I worked all week in order to earn the day off yesterday and I have no regrets at all. Despite Glentoran being massive underdogs they managed to go into full time in the game at 1 all and after five minutes of mayhem in extra time where Glentoran scored two goals in quick succession to go 3-1 up we went on to claim the Irish Cup sending myself and the rest of the fans into absolute dreamland.
I'm probably going to talk a little more about the day in Wednesdays post because right now I'm pretty hungover but since this was the first time we'd won an Irish Cup in nine years I decided to put my abstinence to one side and went back to the Oval (Glentoran's home ground) for a celebration with the fans and the players. Admittedly I did get pretty drunk and I'm suffering for it right now. It was worth it all the same though, we won an Irish Cup, I will get back on the gym horse on Tuesday and start from scratch, no permanent damage has been done.
The night itself was a little awkward for myself despite the celebrations. A month or so back I blogged about this girl I developed feelings for and had a big fall out and stopped talking to but during the game she sent me a text saying how she wanted to bury the hatchet for one day so she could go down and meet us to celebrate the Irish Cup win. While I was pleased that she made up with me to an extent it was still very awkward being around her and I think that's part of the reason why I got so drunk in order to kill the awkwardness off with drunkenness and I guess that it was at least partially successful. I guess this just shows that there can be some positives to football, it brings friends and communities together and despite the bad press it can sometimes get it truly is a magical sport although I believe that sport in general is a magical concept. I should stop ranting and share a few photos from Saturday's amazing day:
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I don't know what's up with the last photo but I look so smug for some reason! I'm away here anyway guys, like I say I'll blog more about this in the future probably, it's been a wonderful week or so for me haha, for once!
Matthew
As I told you guys before Saturday was the day of the football (soccer) Irish Cup Final and my team Glentoran were lucky enough to take part for the first time since 2006. Obviously being a big Glentoran fan there was no way in heck that I was going to miss it so I worked all week in order to earn the day off yesterday and I have no regrets at all. Despite Glentoran being massive underdogs they managed to go into full time in the game at 1 all and after five minutes of mayhem in extra time where Glentoran scored two goals in quick succession to go 3-1 up we went on to claim the Irish Cup sending myself and the rest of the fans into absolute dreamland.
I'm probably going to talk a little more about the day in Wednesdays post because right now I'm pretty hungover but since this was the first time we'd won an Irish Cup in nine years I decided to put my abstinence to one side and went back to the Oval (Glentoran's home ground) for a celebration with the fans and the players. Admittedly I did get pretty drunk and I'm suffering for it right now. It was worth it all the same though, we won an Irish Cup, I will get back on the gym horse on Tuesday and start from scratch, no permanent damage has been done.
The night itself was a little awkward for myself despite the celebrations. A month or so back I blogged about this girl I developed feelings for and had a big fall out and stopped talking to but during the game she sent me a text saying how she wanted to bury the hatchet for one day so she could go down and meet us to celebrate the Irish Cup win. While I was pleased that she made up with me to an extent it was still very awkward being around her and I think that's part of the reason why I got so drunk in order to kill the awkwardness off with drunkenness and I guess that it was at least partially successful. I guess this just shows that there can be some positives to football, it brings friends and communities together and despite the bad press it can sometimes get it truly is a magical sport although I believe that sport in general is a magical concept. I should stop ranting and share a few photos from Saturday's amazing day:
.jpg)
I don't know what's up with the last photo but I look so smug for some reason! I'm away here anyway guys, like I say I'll blog more about this in the future probably, it's been a wonderful week or so for me haha, for once!
Matthew
Friday, 3 May 2013
3rd May 2013- Mother, Father and Gentleman
Days since I last smoked or drank- 48
Hey guys, this is going to be a bit of a light hearted and short post since not too much is going on right now. One thing I will say is that last Saturday I actually had a drink, it was three quarters of a bottle of Coors Light so probably less than a unit of alcohol. I know that it's technically drinking alcohol so I feel a little guilty with the counter but what do you guys think? Honestly I'll gladly remove it and start again if you guys think that it counts as enough to drop the counter, I just don't feel like it's a big enough deal to beat myself up over but at the same time I'm not going to lie to my readers since I love you guys.
Anyway that aside I have a really busy weekend planned out. This Saturday is the weekend of the footballing Irish Cup Final, the biggest single game during the Irish football season and the team I support, who I've been talking about going to see for the last two years on here, Glentoran, are playing in the final. This is the first Irish Cup Final that Glentoran have made since 2005 so you can understand my excitement. I managed to get my Saturday off by making a deal that sees me work this entire week but despite that it's still going to be worth it. We're going to go to the team's stadium in the morning time to have some BBQ, buy some merchandise and I'm strongly considering getting my face painted red, green and black which are the team's colours haha, I'm that looking forward to the game. Then we're going to walk to the match and hopefully we'll win and then go out into the city to celebrate the big victory. It's been keeping me going all week, I'm so nervous and excited for the game it's insane.
We also have this bank holiday in the United Kingdom where we get off on the first Monday in May and hopefully my work will be taking part in that tradition. If I do get Monday off I plan on going up into Belfast for a massive shopping spree with my friends. Honestly asides from a few bits and pieces I haven't done a serious clothes shop in at least over two years and my wardrobe is simply tired and boring. Hopefully on Monday that's going to change and I'll get a few different outfits using my wages. Wages remind me that I've got some important job searching and accepting decisions to do in May but I'll maybe save that until Monday so this post remains at least slightly positive and upbeat!
Anyway recently, as those of you who follow me over on my Twitter account @heathyheath_ I've developed a bit of an obsession with PSY. I'd be shocked if people didn't know who PSY is by now but he's this South Korean K-Pop musician who made and sang the hit single Gangnam Style. While I originally hated Gangnam Style because essentially it was a stupid novelty song the impact it's made in the world has been undeniable and it currently at the time of writing has over a billion and a half views on Youtube which is absolutely insane. It took me a while to get into Gangnam Style but I've decided recently that it's pretty good in my opinion although I'm sure some of you will very rightfully disagree.
The thing that I quickly began to realise about PSY is that he's actually a really nice bloke. He comes across as humble, he's humorous and it doesn't seem like his success has got to his head at all. There's also nothing harmless in his music either. His video for his new song Gentleman is just exactly what we need in life, we need to take things a little less serious. Gentleman already has over a quarter of a billion views despite being only released this month and I'd love you guys to check it out. In the video PSY basically plays a bunch of ungentlemanly style pranks and while it's juvenile and the music isn't the best honestly I think it's a lot of fun, check it out and have a great weekend everybody.
Mother, father, Gentleman
Matthew
Hey guys, this is going to be a bit of a light hearted and short post since not too much is going on right now. One thing I will say is that last Saturday I actually had a drink, it was three quarters of a bottle of Coors Light so probably less than a unit of alcohol. I know that it's technically drinking alcohol so I feel a little guilty with the counter but what do you guys think? Honestly I'll gladly remove it and start again if you guys think that it counts as enough to drop the counter, I just don't feel like it's a big enough deal to beat myself up over but at the same time I'm not going to lie to my readers since I love you guys.
Anyway that aside I have a really busy weekend planned out. This Saturday is the weekend of the footballing Irish Cup Final, the biggest single game during the Irish football season and the team I support, who I've been talking about going to see for the last two years on here, Glentoran, are playing in the final. This is the first Irish Cup Final that Glentoran have made since 2005 so you can understand my excitement. I managed to get my Saturday off by making a deal that sees me work this entire week but despite that it's still going to be worth it. We're going to go to the team's stadium in the morning time to have some BBQ, buy some merchandise and I'm strongly considering getting my face painted red, green and black which are the team's colours haha, I'm that looking forward to the game. Then we're going to walk to the match and hopefully we'll win and then go out into the city to celebrate the big victory. It's been keeping me going all week, I'm so nervous and excited for the game it's insane.
We also have this bank holiday in the United Kingdom where we get off on the first Monday in May and hopefully my work will be taking part in that tradition. If I do get Monday off I plan on going up into Belfast for a massive shopping spree with my friends. Honestly asides from a few bits and pieces I haven't done a serious clothes shop in at least over two years and my wardrobe is simply tired and boring. Hopefully on Monday that's going to change and I'll get a few different outfits using my wages. Wages remind me that I've got some important job searching and accepting decisions to do in May but I'll maybe save that until Monday so this post remains at least slightly positive and upbeat!
Anyway recently, as those of you who follow me over on my Twitter account @heathyheath_ I've developed a bit of an obsession with PSY. I'd be shocked if people didn't know who PSY is by now but he's this South Korean K-Pop musician who made and sang the hit single Gangnam Style. While I originally hated Gangnam Style because essentially it was a stupid novelty song the impact it's made in the world has been undeniable and it currently at the time of writing has over a billion and a half views on Youtube which is absolutely insane. It took me a while to get into Gangnam Style but I've decided recently that it's pretty good in my opinion although I'm sure some of you will very rightfully disagree.
The thing that I quickly began to realise about PSY is that he's actually a really nice bloke. He comes across as humble, he's humorous and it doesn't seem like his success has got to his head at all. There's also nothing harmless in his music either. His video for his new song Gentleman is just exactly what we need in life, we need to take things a little less serious. Gentleman already has over a quarter of a billion views despite being only released this month and I'd love you guys to check it out. In the video PSY basically plays a bunch of ungentlemanly style pranks and while it's juvenile and the music isn't the best honestly I think it's a lot of fun, check it out and have a great weekend everybody.
Mother, father, Gentleman
Matthew
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