Hey guys, happy Monday. I'm writing this a little in advance after a really good week living alone at home. Honestly as mean as it sounds I didn't miss my parents much, I still kept in contact with them but being away from my dad for a week felt like a breath of fresh air. It was good, I'm not going to lie, just to be able to feel like for once I could go home and forget stresses like busy days in work. Generally I go from being stressed in work to being stressed at home and it's not good for me, I don't want to sound like a moan but it was just nice to be able to go home to no obligations and no worries about being around my father and I've benefited a lot, moving to a flat by myself is something I should be considering really but I've been considering it since I basically started this blog so I won't do that again on here at least.
Anyway work being so busy recently has actually made me be thinking more. I'm constantly getting into conversations with customers and a good majority of them who are absolutely lovely. Often however the customers ask me what I'm doing with my life and it's kind of scary how lax I am when I tell them that I'm currently just working here and then considering MAYBE going back to university at some time in the future. Obviously at the pensioner age of 20 I really should be moving forward and looking into this stuff but I'm so lazy and relaxed, so unsure of what the next path I want to take is that I keep lingering back.
I think that I fear simply sitting down and committing myself to one career path, one specific field of work because I don't think I could stay committed to it. I didn't stay committed to Criminology at Queens and all the other things I've decided I want to be so I can't see how I would even begin to start now. I've been saying that for a long time, heck I've been saying that on my blog time and time again, so many people on here probably already know exactly how I feel about this kind of thing yet all of those people also know that I've done very little to change. Even my dream job, my pipe dream of being a singer or a rock star is something that I just haven't worked hard enough with. I mean sure I write but I don't practice enough, I don't go anyway towards what I want to be and that's what the problem is, I'd originally wrote out that I think that's the problem but I know it is and still I haven't really fixed anything.
This post makes me want to know though, mainly out of curiosity just what you guys felt like your dream job was or is? It doesn't have to be something realistic at all but I think it'd just be cool to hear what you aspired to be when you were a teenager, I'd be interested to see just how different your final jobs were or even if your dream job became the job you ended up doing because it'd be nice to have a little bit of hope. Then again waiting around for hope is probably not wise and one of the worst things that I could do. I remember during the GOALS course that they told me that there was no such a thing as a knight in shining armour, nobody is going to come and make everything alright nine times out of ten, it's very unlikely that you're just going to win the lottery and that things are magically going to get better in life, success is something that is earned and I've got to earn it.
But yeah right now the reality I'm facing isn't terrible but I just want more from my life. I love my job a lot, don't get me wrong, even if it is minimum wage but I believe and I have been told time and time again that whatever it is, I deserve better out of my life than what I have right now. But the only person who can sort that out is me, I just need to get past what it is I want to do, I need to decide if I want to be a writer, a singer or a lyricist of some kind or if I want to go back to university and do something like Law and I've got to decide it soon. I remember that always wear sunblock speech/song saying that the most interesting men still don't know what they want to be when they're 40 but I've got to work out much sooner than that or I'll never get anything that I actually want out of my life.