Monday, 9 September 2013

9th September 2013- Break

I'd previously written a scathing and angry post scheduled for today but felt a lot of guilt for it so I've got nothing to write today. I just want to say that I've been going through a tough time recently, a really tough time. The battles with addiction, the times I've had my heart broken, the times I've quite plainly and simply died inside over and over again, the misery I feel, how some days I'm so depressed I can't get out of bed. All of that has caught up with me and I can't cope well any more to be honest. This blog is my blog and I have a right to have whatever opinion I want to have without feeling like I'm a bad person or nasty, or judgemental for having it, this blog is a place where I go that like I said in my two year anniversary post makes me feel happy and if I don't feel happy from doing it then maybe I've got to stop altogether. What I will say is that on Christmas in 2011 I was able to it at a dinner table that included my grandma and my brother. This Christmas two years on my grandmother is dead and my brother doesn't live at home any more. If I want to feel upset over that then that's my damn right.

Matt

41 comments:

  1. yep..it's your blog and you can vent, rant and say anything you want! :)

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  2. That's the best thing about a blog, it's totally yours & you can post what the hell you like!
    Have a wonderful week Matt xoxo
    http://www.intotheblonde.com/

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  3. You have every right to be upset about that man. If you feel you want to take a break then go for it. You also really do have the right to write any post you want about what you want. No matter how angry or anything you feel you come across, go for it and do what you want. It's your blog, your space to write what you think and feel.

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  4. Rant away, who cares what others say

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  5. No judgments here. Sometimes it's good to just take some time to reflect before you vent. But just remember not to apologize for how you feel. You can't control that. Keep your head up, man. We're here for you if you need anything.

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  6. I can certainly understand how you feel. Life does throw change at us all the time. You have the right to feel upset and down. Never apologize for your feelings!! They are yours and you own them outright! Don't lose sight though that there are other people who look at you for some positive thoughts. I don't always comment but I do read and enjoy your blog. Write when YOU feel like it. Big hug for you!

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  7. I hope you're OK Matthew! You have the right to express your opinion, it's your blog after all, you can say what you want. If people don't agree with you then that's their opinion. Don't let it get to you :)

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  8. Oh hon, I hope you're ok ...
    Don't stop blogging - there are lots of people who read it and are here for you, but more importantly, it gives you somewhere to express how you are feeling and that can only be a good thing.
    I do hope things improve for you soon.
    M x

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  9. Sorry I haven't visited in a while. I have soooo much to catch up!!!

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  11. Just keep writing. We are all here to read. thetruthaboutseptember26.blog

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  12. You have every right to feel what you feel and to write about it. Like Monica Lewinski, life sometimes blows. Remember, though, you ARE the editor of YOUR blog.
    Don't stop (that's what she said).

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  13. Hey Matthew,

    I think it's good for you to say whatever you want...it is your blog. We all need a way to vent a little.

    :) Erica

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  14. If it pisses you off, write about it. You need an outlet for your anger and low moments. I didn't hold back when Theresa dumped me and found a new boyfriend (wait, did I do a post on that?) and you shouldn't either.

    Don't quit blogging man, you'll be missed.

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  15. Express as you please. Blogs are meant to be whatever we want them to be. But, also if we write something, people will respond as they feel to as well. It's the other side of having a blog, we write our thoughts down, but if we leave this open for comments and expressions, we get them back no matter what they might be. It's all freedom of speech really. But, beyond that...you can delete those things and not let them change your emotions. We all have rough times, we let them out in different ways, don't let that stop you from using this place as a way to do so. I've gotten some rough comments, but sometimes they pointed out real things, true things, but other times they were piles of shite. So, don't let things get on you. Let it out here & all will be grand. Blogging has been a good outlet for you, so don't let that go to waste because of other things. If you're upset about your Gran and stuff, let it out. :)

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  16. Express whatever you want to express Matt, and you're right, this is your blog and you have all the right to say whatever it is you like. Who cares what others will think or say, it's not their blog after all. :) It's a good way to vent and I hope you'll feel better somehow. Take care always, Matt.

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  17. First let me say, I'm sorry you're struggling with addiction. Even if you don't write about that struggle here, you should write about it somewhere, Matthew. It helps to get those feelings out so they don't fester inside. Take it from me.

    You've been following me long enough to know that I use my blog, MTM, for whatever I feel like. It's had days of venting, goofiness, talk of addiction, you name it, it's been on there. That's my blog and I use it for whatever I feel like sharing that particular day. You do the same, my friend!!

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  18. I'm sorry, Matthew. I care about you and am sending warm, comforting thoughts your way.

    With love,
    Robyn

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  19. It's your blog. It's your feelings. You have the tight to write whatever you choose. Hope things get better for you. It saddens me to know that you're going through a difficult time. Sending good thoughts and positive vibes your way.

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  20. Nice post, great blog, following :)

    Good Luck :)

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  21. first big hugs sweetie and you're right this is your blog you may write anything you want and you also have the right to feel whatever it is you feel never let anyone tell you different. sending love

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  22. If you are taking a break, then its fine. Its your blog and you should be free to say what you want. But on the other side, this blog is open to anyone and anyone can read and comment what you post. If you really want to write your deepest thoughts though, I suggest you write about it but don't publish it in an open blog. If it helps, show it to someone who can help you. Wishing you a happy weekend Matt ~

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    1. Hope you are enjoying your break Matt ~

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  23. Oh, Dear Matty,

    if i said i undersoud, that would be all wrong, just let me say that the last two years in my life have been hell too.....i don't know how else to describe it to you.


    That said, i have to say, in the years i have been reading your blog, i have seen so much growth and maturity, you cannot imagine. For a young person your age, you have so much insight and ability, you are mature beyound anything i was at your age.

    You are awesome!

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  24. Hi,
    My grandmother died in June 2011, and I honestly don't know how I survived it. I almost didn't. I hit my lowest point and landed myself in the hospital being treated for a lot of things, mainly depression.
    I've been there. I've finally been able, in the past few months, to use my blog as an outlet describing what I went through. You can do the same, or find some other means of expression. Just don't hold it in. Let it out.
    -Michelle

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  25. Everyone is entitled to use their blog exactly as they see fit, so never stop doing that. Hope you feel better soon, keep your chin up x

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  26. I personally loathe the holiday season and would dread them even more if in your shoes, given the loss/shake up in your family.

    Just know that the future, no matter how shitty the past/present might be, is still unwritten and who's to say what great memories and amazing people will be sitting at your Christmas table years down the road? Just a thought. Hang in there dude.

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  27. Matthew....plaid is a blanket, not a design. Only tartan is the design ;-) Bless you :))

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  28. I thought your corner of blogger had gone very quiet on my feed.....

    I hope you're doing ok. :( I know what kind of battles you're fighting as far as depression and addiction, so if you ever need anyone to talk to, you are more than welcome to email me. I think you have the one address, but you might get a faster response from this one as they go straight to my phone: iworshipzoot [at] hotmail.com

    xoxo

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  29. Matt, sweetie....I don't see you Tweet much anymore...or have you changed your account again...I just popped by to give ye a cuddle and tell ye you're awesome.

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  30. It's your blog and you can say what you want, especially considering this is a diary entry. It's meant to be raw and emotional, perhaps things you can't say out loud (I'm a newbie here and presuming so sorry) I know those days you speak of and hope you'll be able to find some good somewhere, because it's always darkest before the dawn and I know it's easier said then done, and well I should take my own advice sometimes too LOL but I do hope to see some more entries from you very soon.

    xxx
    Dancing in Black

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  31. It's your place and you can say whatever you want. But like everywhere in life, ppl will say things. As much as we think we can ignore those, sometimes they get to us at our lowest. But we learn to march forward.

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  32. great!!!
    would you like to follow each other?
    just let me know
    xx
    Marlena

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  33. Cool blog

    http://www.facebook.com/AmandaChicFashionRoomLounge?ref=hl
    twitter & instagram : @fashionrlounge
    Fashion room lounge

    A chic kiss ;)

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  34. Hi, Matthew.
    I miss your posts.
    Thinking of you.
    xoRobyn

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  35. I totally agree, Matthew. You should feel free to express yourself on your blog. I have always admired your ability to articulate your thoughts and feelings in an open and honest way. I would be disappointed if you didn't!
    :)

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