I'd previously written a scathing and angry post scheduled for today but felt a lot of guilt for it so I've got nothing to write today. I just want to say that I've been going through a tough time recently, a really tough time. The battles with addiction, the times I've had my heart broken, the times I've quite plainly and simply died inside over and over again, the misery I feel, how some days I'm so depressed I can't get out of bed. All of that has caught up with me and I can't cope well any more to be honest. This blog is my blog and I have a right to have whatever opinion I want to have without feeling like I'm a bad person or nasty, or judgemental for having it, this blog is a place where I go that like I said in my two year anniversary post makes me feel happy and if I don't feel happy from doing it then maybe I've got to stop altogether. What I will say is that on Christmas in 2011 I was able to it at a dinner table that included my grandma and my brother. This Christmas two years on my grandmother is dead and my brother doesn't live at home any more. If I want to feel upset over that then that's my damn right.